Temple of the Dark Moon

Ah, after months of no blogging, its finally time to blog again due to the unlimited supply of stories our very beautiful UTP can offer. i think by the end of our five years here, we can start a sitcom about our lives that can run for the next 5 seasons if it hits off. first thing first, the reason i am able to write this blog, or better yet, even able to reach this page to even write, is due to the fact that i am now paying 16 smackeroos a month to get a dial up connection. i have never in my life encountered this before. i have never in my life even heard that a university student has to subscribe to such services because the internet in their premise is not at all functioning. the furthest i ever gone with internet from my dorm room is the yahoo page or yahoo mail login page. any further than that, u get the ‘lost connection from origin server’ page. I am trying not to complain much, but this is too much to be kept in silence. and being a person who is used to broadband connection, dial up connection seems to sap the very life away from me, but a dialup connection is better than no connection at all =P.

i recently been able to look at us, our batch from the eyes of lecturers. i mean i have always been able to, but this time, i am finally able to see that we are not all that great as we think we are. lets start off with our Chem lab 2 demonstrator. i have not personally endured this, but from the stories of others, it seems it happen like so; usually before our lab we have our viva sessions (something like Q & A, where they ask u technical questions and u were suppose to answer correctly to get points). so anyways, being "smart" (why the "…"? , u’ll know later) as we are, we read our lab manuals, internet is shit, so forget about finding information from the net, read some books from the library. ready and confident that we are able to fend off any attacks from her. well, turns out she starts asking questions that is totally out of our scope of knowledge. well, or to say we din bother researching or even question. so being unable to answer her questions, and her being as testy as she usually is (she always wears this look that she is pissed 24 7), we were screwed. in all her rantings, this is the most prominent of all: "u guys are the worst batch". that hit the brain real hard, i tot all the batches are the same… seems not. well, i must say if its only she who thinks so, it wouldn’t be so bad, but….

We have also another testy lecturer…well not as testy as the demonstrator, but nearly. anyways, during our first lecture, she was going on and on about how she wouldnt bother helping us if we cant help ourserlves, and taht we are in fourth year now, and that must take iniatives for our own good and all the usual stuff. overall, she is telling u she won be helping u if u are too dumb lar. so anyways, first test came and went, i tot everyone couldnt remember the formula, but as it turns out, im the only few who cant… so much for the ‘if u donno, everyone also donno’ policy… pretty much flunk the entire thing. 50 percent only i think. anyways, so our lecturer from very strict and i mean business look to a "u all must help urselves, we the lecturer talk among us and we found out that u guys got the lowest among the other batches… we wan to be proud of u, we wan u to be the BEST batch". u know… those words are from a very very desperate woman after knowing that not that its not only a few who flunk it…almost everyone did…i guess she is trying some motivational talk by telling us that they wanna "be proud of us, and wan us to be the BEST batch". my my, from a "u are on ur own" personality to a "i need to help u or not my repo’s gone" kinda personality. and she is actually giving extra classes to those who have flunked to help us score…she has most definitely done this for the first time for her entire time here.

the best and most obvious sign of our "terribleness" comes from our CPIC lecturer. he always just smiles whenever we cannot recall terms or get them wrongly when have taught about it just 1 week ago. the best part was, our project was supposedly easy, but due to the overwhelming number of students going to him asking for guidance on how to even start it, he ended up finishing the entire simulation system for us. and our job is to just plug in the values calculated using formulas to the equations for the graphs. and even that some of us cannot do and still have to ask him for help which he did of course, with the all too familiar smile. so u see, for the quoted smart word, this is why… we must be soooooooooooooooooooooo dumb or stupid that we are labeled the worst batch of all, can make a lecturer open extra classes for the first time on her entire lecturing career and have to have the lecturer build the simulation system for us.

as for now, i think my self esteem is on the all time low… never in my life have so many signs been pointing toward the word ‘dunce’